From: Michael Roberts (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Date: Fri May 02 2003 - 11:20:21 EDT
Yes, but I did once have a student who wrote in an exam that Keble posted a
list of theses at st mary the Virgin Oxford in July 1833. A third level
Another said that Ruskin was shocked on his wedding night to find that his
wife had pubic hair. Millais didnt mind.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Robert Schneider" <email@example.com>
Sent: Friday, May 02, 2003 3:12 PM
Subject: Re: UK GCSE Answers
> Regarding the student exam answers on this and the other post, Steve
> with us, I have seen versions of these so often over the past 25 years,
> they have attained the status of urban legends. I've seen examples of
> attributed to students in the USA. There must be a "ur" version of both
> Bible and the history exams somewhere. I suspect some of them are
> intentionally clever, and either invented by clever students or a clever
> writer of such documents. Still, a lot of funnies here. I remember a few
> from similar lists:
> What is an epistle? An epistle is the wife of an apostle.
> Name the four evangelists. Answer: Moody, Sankey, and Billy Sunday are
> only ones I ever heerd of.
> In the European history category:
> The Holy Roman Emperor had his lower passage blocked by the French for
> years and years.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Steve Bishop" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
> To: <email@example.com>
> Sent: Friday, May 02, 2003 7:33 AM
> Subject: UK GCSE Answers
> > The following are supposedly genuine GCSE answers given in recent
> > GCSE Answers (age 15/16)
> > Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.
> > They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of
> > Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
> > The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the
> > Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of
> > children, Cain, asked "Am I my brother's son?"
> > Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened
> > bread, which is made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount
> > to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
> > Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
> > The Greeks were a highly sculptured people. Without them we would not
> > history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
> > Actually Homer was not written by Homer, but by another man of that
> > Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people
> > They killed him. Socrates die of an overdose of wedlock. After his
> > his career suffered a dramatic decline.
> > In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and
> > threw the java.
> > Eventually the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans
> > because they never stayed in one place long.
> > Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides
> > March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king.
> > he gasped out "Tee hee Brutus".
> > Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the
> > fiddle to them.
> > Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonised by Bernard Shaw.
> > Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same
> > offence.
> > In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the
> > furtile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote
> > literature.
> > Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while
> > standing on his son's head.
> > Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen". As a Queen she was a success.
> > she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "Hurrah".
> > It was a great age of inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented
> > removable type and the bible. Another important invention was the
> > circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because
> > invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake
> > circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
> > The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was
> > in the year 1554, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money
> > is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies and
> > hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an
> > of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
> > Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote
> > Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote
> > Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
> > During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great
> > navigator who discovered America while cruising about the Atlantic. His
> > ships were called the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Fe.
> > Later the Pilgrims crossed the ocean and this was called Pilgrim's
> > The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and
> > many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.
> > One of the causes for the Revolutionary wars was that the English put
> > in their tea. Also the colonists would send parcels through the post
> > stamps. Finally the colonists won the war and no longer had to pay for
> > taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented
> > Thomas Jefferson, a virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of
> > Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity
> > by rubbing two cats backwards and declared. "A horse divided against
> > cannot stand". Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
> > Soon the constitution of the United States was adopted to secure
> > hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep
> > arms.
> > Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother
> > in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own
> > hands. Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation
> > the night of the 14th April 1865, Lincoln went to the theatre and got
> > in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed
> > assassin was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined
> > Booth's career.
> > Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire
> > invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy.
> > Gravity was invented by Isaac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in autumn
> > when the apples are falling off trees.
> > Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions from 1750 to the
> > present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was
> > Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very
> > Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf, he wrote
> > music. He look long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling
> > him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
> > The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted
> > into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since
> > Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't have any children.
> > The sun never set on the British Empire because it is in the East and
> > sun sets in the West.
> > Queen Victoria was the longest Queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years.
> > was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event
> > ended her reign.
> > The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and
> > People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine.
> > invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.
> > McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred
> > Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits. Charles Darwin was a
> > who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madam Curie discovered radio. And
> > Marx became one of the Marx brothers.
> > The First World War, cause by the assignation of the Arch Duck by an
> > antihist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.
> > _________________________________________________________________
> > Use MSN Messenger to send music and pics to your friends
> > http://www.msn.co.uk/messenger
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