Re: [Fwd: RE: [Fwd: RE: [Fwd: RE: [Fwd: RE: Darwinism/Compassion]]]]

From: Jan de Koning (
Date: Mon Feb 25 2002 - 17:25:07 EST

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    At 01:20 PM 25/02/02 -0600, Lucy Masters wrote:
    >See my earlier post to Jan regarding the basis for moral
    >decisions. Inasmuch as the NT disputes the OT, I don't think one must
    >accept the Bible as the only moral authority. I think I **do** use it as
    >a guidebook - but not as a book of laws. So how does that work in daily
    >life? An example...we have a young woman who received food and housing
    >from our organization (a Christian organization - or at least we think we
    >are). She spoke no English, so we had a Bilingual person come in to help
    >her. She came to us with a small child. So we set some guidelines for
    >her. If she wanted to stay in this country, she had to agree to study
    >English with the tutor we arranged for her who COMES TO THE HOUSE WE GIVE
    >HER so she doesn't have to leave her child. She has to refrain from using
    >alcohol or drugs on our property, and she cannot, absolutely cannot,
    >engage in sexual relations with anyone unless she becomes married to that
    >person. She must agree to take her child to the clinic for medical care,
    >which we pay for and drive her to. She must agree upon mastering enough
    >English to do so to take some kind of compensable employment which we will
    >help her find and during which we will provide free day care.
    >We gave her one year to "get her act together."
    >What did she do? She moved into the house and accepted all the free food
    >and clothing. We also paid her utility bills. She refused to work with
    >the tutor, and also would not let the tutor teach her child English. She
    >"disappeared" when we arrived to take her child to the clinic. We began
    >to find empty bottles of alcohol and drug paraphernalia about the house
    >(also a terrifying legal concern for us). We found out too late that she
    >was allowing a married man to come to our house to engage in sexual
    >behavior with her, and that she was pregnant. Nine months later she gave
    >birth to twins. After three months, we told her she would need to move
    >out of our care, find someone else to care for her, or perhaps move back
    >to Mexico.

    We would have done the same thing. That does not mean, though, that you
    were wrong in assisting her to get started.

    > The greatest gift we can give is not the food or the house or the
    > clothes. It is the ability to get one's life together and to no longer
    > need our help.

    Yes, and that is not always possible in big cities. Also, addictions may
    cause lots of problems, but we should indeed try to get them over
    that. However, people who are not addicted to anything have a tough time
    understanding addictions.

    >So I would say that the "Christian in me" says we should help people to
    >survive *for a while* and we should help them to become *fit* for a
    >while. But they must also participate. The only reason I can think of
    >for not "cutting off the aid" is if the person is so sick or disabled that
    >they cannot care for themselves.

    Agreed, accept for your definition of Christian.

    >BTW - it may or may not interest you to know that I am married to a person
    >who was born totally and permanently disabled. If everything had been
    >handed to him, I'm quite certain he would be a bloated slug today parked
    >in front of a television set in a day room. Instead, his mother and I
    >both pushed and prodded him all the way through his Ph.D. in clinical
    >psychology. He has maintained his own private practice for over 20 years,
    >drives a little, red Mustang GT, and is extremely independent. I don't
    >think he regrets it. (Although I did tell him last night that some
    >members of this list think I'm a demon, and he did laugh and say,
    >"Gee! And just from reading your little emails? If they ever met you in
    >person, they'd run screaming into the night!").

    I don't say you are a demon, and I admire you for helping your husband
    these many years. Still, I would like you to know the saving grace, which
    is available through Jesus death for our sins.

    Jan de K.

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