Skit on ID

From: M.B.Roberts (
Date: Wed Apr 11 2001 - 11:13:53 EDT

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    On some Cumbrian Moreland.

    One day Archdeacon Paley, Archdemon Dennett and Monsignor Behe went for a long moreland(sic) walk, with many dawks flying overhead. Other walkers had trod the same path and many were careless. As a result the path was strewed with litter and equipment. Every so often they found a watch. The Archdeacon always said that their superb design proved there was an excellent watchmaker. The Archdemon said that any tinkerer or bricoleur as he called them could do the same without being intelligent and explained how. The Archdeacon disagreed, but the Monsignor thought it an excellent argument. They found dozens of watches of all shapes and sizes, but they all had the same basic mechanism. They had lunch at the Earl of Bridgewater and had too much scrumpy. As they went on their way the Archdeacon found another watch. "Yet another one. I like its dial and hands. I'll take off the back and we'll look at the springs and cogs and see if it has the name of the watchmaker." "Bricoleur!" interrupted the Archdemon.

    "That's funny!" exclaimed the Archdeacon, "There are no cogs!"

    The Archdemon snatched it and said after much thought, "I can explain all other watches by tinkering and I can tell you how old each watch is, but this is different."

    The Monsignor took it and said, "It can't be a human tinkerer, it is so clever that it must have fallen from a spaceship."

    "Rubbish", said the two Archies, "it must be explainable!"

    The two Archies then disagreed over the existence of a Watchmaker. Finally the Archdemon said, "If, and I mean if, he exists he must be blind!"

    Some dawks "kee-keeed" overhead as if in agreement.

    The Archdemon continued, "Most bricoleurs are so stupid that they might as well be blind. Even so, by trial and error, they make excellent watches."

    "No", screamed the Archdeacon, "There are some excellent Watchmakers who are brilliant designers."

    "What impresses me", said the Monsignor, "is when the design is so exquisite that I cannot explain it. Then I know it was an intelligent designer of a Watchmaker."

    "The trouble is", said the Archdeacon, "that you don't seem to accept the existence of a Watchmaker if you can explain how they make watches. You seem to have a magical view."

    "Both of you have a magical view of Watchmakers", said the Archdemon, "watches can be explained by thick bricoleurs fiddling around with their pliers."

    The illustrious trio continued on their way.

    They found another and argued again. And another! They approached a town. The Archdeacon said, "let's swatch out, they may be a watchmaker living here. He'll tell us all." "No", said the demon, "there are some bricoleurs in the back streets." The Monsignor gazed up at the skies looking for a spaceship, but could only see some dawks attacking a pair of magpies, who looked remarkably like Archdeacons in their black and white garb. "That's a good thing," said the Archdemon, "magpies are full of viruses."

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